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Helen

10 reasons to get yourself in debts – Debt consolidation Part I
Personal FinanceYour Wealth

10 reasons to get yourself in debts – Debt consolidation Part I

by Helen

You have debts? Then, you are in good company because we all have some debts. Some have more debts than others. I was shocked when Bank of Canada released the news that the Canadians owed $1.821 trillion in debt by end of 2017. Jesus! What did we do with this money? Buy another country? If we did, hopefully a warm place.

As for my American neighbours, you are also in debts. Granted, there are 325.7 million of you compare to a merely 36.3 million Canadians. You can totally crush us by just sheer numbers. According to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York’s Center for Microeconomic Data, the American total household debt ended with an all-time high of $13.15 trillion at end of 2017. To make the matter worse, the report indicated that American had 5 consecutive years of annual household debt growth. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

But if you think that debt is a North American issue, then you are mistaken. The South Koreans, the Scandinavians, the Australians and lastly the big cheese, the Chinese are heading toward the same direction. Yes, a Bloomberg’s report on February 2018 indicated that the debt burden for Chinese consumers nearly tripled in the past decade. The cupid of Chinese personal debt is the exponential rise in very cost of real estate and they also have acquired taste for finer things in life.

All this to say:  you are not alone in the debt-ridden path so don’t beat yourself up. The important questions that need to discuss are:  why the personal debt increase so much and so did quickly? Why did we get into debts? How can we get out of debt fast?  Lastly, how can we stay on debt free path and not letting it impact our mental state? Debts can seriously impact your mental health because the financial burden is one of the leading causes for depression and stress, so it should be properly managed.

10 causes of personal debts

I am a firm believer that until you truly understand the root cause of the problem, you won’t be able to fix the issue entirely. So, to solve for debts consolation effectively, we need to examine why people get into debts in the first place.

 1 – Credit, thy name is deceiving

I have a friend who is more of budget hawk and debt hater than I am. I know, you can’t believe it right? But it is possible, and she exists.  For a while, she thought she was debt free until I busted her bubbles. Yes, I wasn’t always considerate and somewhat of a smart-ass sometime. Once, this friend proudly told me that she had no debt. She was good about debt management because she rented and paid off all her student debts. I asked her: “Do you have credit card?” She replied: “Yes, off course I do. Who won’t have credit card these days”. “Well, my love! I have news for you. You have debt. Maybe a small amount, but you do. It is called credit for a reason”, I told her.

Admittedly I sounded like a tight-ass banker, but I was right. The beauty of digital banking world is convenience of usage but it comes with a cost. Credit cards make it very easy for people to get into debts so it is not a coincidence that personal debt ratio has been on the rise for first world countries and some emerging markets where credit card usage is now a way of life. We are conditioned to think of that piece of plastic as a charge card not a short term (mostly 21 days) debt. I have news for you, it is debt and it is a very deceiving one that can get you into deep trouble with a capital “T”.

In addition to ease of usage, there is also a long list of services, benefits and prestige that the growing list of elite card products entice into the spending trap. Yes, you know that I am talking about. It is black, sexy and expensive looking. And they have very catchy names.

The credit card product owners and marketers are great at making the plastic sounds sexy. Eurasian Diamond Card Visa Infinite, Citi Ultima MasterCard, BMO World Elite, American Express Centurion, and CIBC Imperial Service black card. The Canadians know what I am talking about. Who won’t feel important when you have a CIBC Imperial Service black card service? It says: I arrive! I made it! I am rich!

Carrying these types of Elite cards make us feel important because they are symbol status. I am guilty of this too. I have an Elite travel MasterCard that I use extensively and have been hooked on this card because it gives me free access to airport lounge and other perks when I travel. If you travel with a young child (say, a little mini-me) an airport lounge is a life saver because it has comfortable chair and decent foods to feed and occupy your child while you wait for take-off.

Credit card companies have many years of experience, knowledge and talents to exploit consumer’s psychology and they do it well. I came across many customers who were just dumbfounded by how they got into so much financial trouble due to usage of credit cards. In my opinion, credit card can be very dangerous for debt management because people are condition to believe that it is not a debt when it is truly a revolving door of debt.

Credit card is structured as a revolving debt instrument which means, as you pay off the balance, you can instantly re-borrow. The minimum payment feature is the worst one for consumers who are careless and or the spenders. Yes, I am talking about people who just sign the credit card agreement without reading it and the folks who just can’t stop themselves from buying that nice designer bag (my sister included).  Do you know that a merely $2,000 credit balance with an 18% annual rate, a minimum payment of 2% of the balance or $10 (whichever is greater) would take almost 31 years (370 months) to payoff completely? Get ready for the worst news: based on this, you would pay $4,931 in interest and charges which would be 146% more than the original $2000 you borrow. I will stop my credit card lecture here. You know this is bad stuff.

I know the allure and dangerous of credit card because I used to run a credit card portfolio. To be fair, credit card in responsible hands can facilitate money movements very effectively and save you a lot of time. And it is almost a necessary in the modern world that can make our lives a lot easier. But in irresponsible spending hands, it will mean debts, credit history damage and stress. So, think carefully before you tap, swipe or insert that plastic. It is money out of your wallet even when you don’t see it.

2 – Medical expenses

Medical costs have long been one of the leading causes of bankruptcy for my American neighbour. Though Canadians have universal health care, illness, injury, or health condition can incur debts as the person is able to work and generate income. So, unexpected and large medical bill can get you into debt very quickly and it is unavoidable.

 3 – Job or income loss

Losing your source of income can severely hurt you financially.  When you lose your income, it’s easy to find yourself overwhelmed by bills and expenses. Debt can quickly follow. I came across endless stories of people lost their jobs or their businesses went south and they ended up with lot of credit card and line of credit debts. By the time they gained decent income and wanted to tackle the debt, the banks refused to lend them money because their credit records were tarnished by then.

4 – Student debts

Education is costly but it is the necessary investment so we often saddled with debt early on in our lives.  If you decide to pursuit a post graduate degree, it will cost you even more. With the competitive global market, the demand for higher skills increases and thus we will likely see higher increase in student debts for the next generations.

5  – An unexpected emergency

Many people find themselves in debt because they aren’t prepared when big, bad, expensive things happened to them. I experienced this first hand when I purchased my 2nd home. Three months into the new house and my pipe busted costing me $9000 to fix all the water damage.  Yes, I pissed off the water god and he busted my pipe.

6 – Not enough or no insurance

Apart from health insurance (which is very important for American folks) there are many types of insurances that can be used for financial planning. To this day, my mother still refuses to buy critical illness insurance because she is afraid that maybe a cure for her dying sooner or having cancer.

Just a quick explanation, critical illness is insurance policy that has a lump sum payout to you if you have cancer, stroke and heart disease. I will write an article on all insurance products. Promise! Getting back to this discussion with my mother, I explained the concept of insurance to her and I assured her that the insurance man would be praying to the insurance gods (also known as the actuary. Yes, they are the insurance gods) every day that she won’t have cancer, stroke or heart attack because he won’t want to pay her out.

“Well, then insurance is a waste of money. I don’t want to be sick and they don’t want to pay, so why buy it?” she said.  Well, it can seem to be a wasted of money until you need it that is, mother! Imagine that you get the bad news from your doctor and you have no money to afford expensive treatment, a lump sum payout from a critical illness policy can be a life saver. This is just one example, I came across many customers found themselves in serious debt or even bankruptcy when a bad event occurred and they were uninsured, underinsured or didn’t have enough savings.

My mother wasn’t pleased when I ran the insurance portfolio. She still believes insurance is a scam. She is not alone, many consumers do because insurance is a weird and perplex financial planning product that you should have but don’t ever want to use it. But if use effectively, insurance can be a relatively inexpensive option to provide financial coverage for your loved one or even yourself when unforeseen event or disaster strikes.

7 – Keeping up with the Joneses

In my experience (and quite a few academic researches agreed) that keeping up with the Joneses is one of the top reasons for people getting themselves in web of debts. Our culture teaches us that we deserve more and better things, and so you may feel pressure to “keep up” with your friends’ lavish lifestyles. A lot of people fall into this trap, and get into serious financial troubles because they want to maintain an image in society. We can spend hours talking about the deep psychological issues that causing someone to feel that they need to keep up an image to feel accepted or important. But the bottom line is: living beyond your means to keep up an image will hurt you and your family in the long run, so don’t go there.

8 –  Divorce

If you think the wedding bill (especially an Asian wedding of 10 course meals for 300 relatives and friends) is astronomical, then take a look at the divorce bill and it will get your blood pressure rise even more. When a marriage ends, it can be financially disastrous for both sides if the divorce is a nasty one.

Divorce means that each person is going from two combined incomes to one. If you earn less, then you will get the short end of the divorce stick. Now, you have to acclimatize to lower income after having higher disposable income for years. It is a shock for your system on top of the mental stress and heartbreak.  Alimony and support payments can be detrimental to one’s finance and are all expected cost of a divorce. So it is not surprising that people tend to get into debts as a result of a divorce.

9 – Gambling

Vegas is built and still thrived on this industry. Gambling disorder can seriously hurt your finance and destroy the relationship you have with family and friends.

10 – The rise in real estate

My friends often said to me that I own three homes. I always corrected them that the banks owned 75% of these houses for the next 20 years. Will see how much of the houses I will own at the end of my mortgage amortization. Yes, the biggest debt for most of us is mortgage. As the cost of real estate rise, we will get into more debts.

I will end the first part of debt consolidation here. In part II, I will discuss what steps you can take to prevent yourselves from getting into debt. Talk to you soon!

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7 Steps to Reduce Stress
Mental HealthPhysical Health

7 Steps to Reduce Stress

by Helen

“I am so stressed out!” This was the most common phase that I heard from my peps these days. Increasingly I find that more people I know are dealing with more stress in their daily life.  Stress is everywhere and impacting just about everyone. We are being stressed to the limit in this fast moving and constantly changing world.

The bad news around the world is not doing anything to help us feel any better. Just tune into CNN, BBC or Bloomberg and all we hear is natural disasters, human tragedies, political instability, economic gloominess and just plain stupid stuffs that happening around our world adding more stress and worries to our minds.

Stress has become a common state of minds for us to the point that 79% of American and 73% of Canadian reported having some level of stress in their day. Jesus! Almost 8 out 10 people are experience stress at any given time in North America? How did we get here? How has stress crept into our daily lives to this point? How can we function effectively if we are under so much stress?

Now, before I stress you out this stressful talk, you should know that not all stress is bad.  If we are still living in caves or running away from a dangerous situation, a stress response can be life-saving because nerve chemicals and hormones released during stressful situations will prepare your body to get into the fight-or-flight mode. According to a NIH study, short term stress can boost your immune system because stress triggers your breathing faster, increase pulse rate, tensed muscles and the brain will use more oxygen. But the key word is: short term. Like everything else, it is about moderation and balance. When you have too much stress is when things can turn really bad quickly.

You know that I experienced a lot of stress due to having a nightmare Panda boss. I was so stressed out that I ended up with a mild depression state. Looking back, I don’t even know why I put up with it for so long. Well, this one was a life lesson learned! It woke me up and got me to re-evaluate my life and what are the important things to me. Since my near breakdown, I have done a lot of research on the topic of stress and how to manage it. Check out my post on 10 common signs and indicators of stress. When you experience these signs and symptoms, I highly encourage you to talk to someone you trust or a healthcare professional who can help you deal with it immediately. Don’t wait.

Does stress impact your body and mind?

The answer is a big YES. If you experience chronic stress, the same chemicals produced to prepare your body to response keep going for longer periods of time and can seriously harm your body functions and prevent them from functioning as they should. Chronic stress can lead to sleep and digestive issues, headaches and body aches, depression and irritability. In serious cases, stress can cause: heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, depression and anxiety disorder.

The American Psychological Association links that chronic stress to six leading causes of death which are heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver and suicide. So, it is extremely important for all of us to take steps to manage our stress level effectively and ensure our body is functioning as it should.

Why is stress so bad for you?

The answer is cortisol. Remember this name because it should be public health enemy number one.  As I mentioned in my previous post, cortisol is released in response to fear or stress as part of the fight-or-flight mechanism. The fight-or-flight mechanism is part of the general adaptation syndrome defined by Canadian biochemist Hans Selye of McGill University in Montreal. Yep, a Canadian did it!  He defined two types of “stress”: eustress (good stress) and distress (bad stress).

The kicker is both good and bad stress release cortisol as part of the general adaptation syndrome. Once the alarm to release cortisol has sounded, your body becomes mobilized and ready for action — but there has to be a physical release of fight or flight. Now do you see it? If there is a guy with a gun runs toward you, the good stress (eustress) is a life saver that will get your two legs running fast.  Eustress creates a “seize-the-day” heightened state of arousal, which is linked with a tangible goal. Your cortisol level will return to normal when the task is done. For instance, you get away from danger, the crazy guy with a gun.

On the flip side, distress, or anxiety that doesn’t provide an outlet for the cortisol will causes your fight-or-flight mechanism to backfire and bite you back big time. All those build up cortisol that has nowhere to go but storing in your body will wreak havoc on your mind and body. The irony is not lost on me. Our own biology which insured our species’ survival as cave men and woman is sabotaging our bodies and minds in a sedentary digital age. What can we do to defuse the cortisol ticking time bomb?

How can you reduce and better manage stress?

Luckily, you can make simple lifestyle choices that will reduce stress. I don’t mean to scare you but I can’t stretch enough the important of stress management. This is one time that you will see me get really serious. Living through depression was one of the toughest experiences for me, and I don’t wish that for anyone. I have done a lot of research in addition to getting professional advices on stress management. Here are the 7 ways I have used to reduce and manage my stress.

  • Meditate

There are many studies that show the benefits of meditation. Personally, I like this one from Harvard Health. My therapist/life coach told me that a mind under stress or depression would be like someone walking around in a fog, and meditation is a great tool to clear the fog from our mind. To begin to meditate:

  • Sit in a comfortable position or lay on your back
  • Close your eye
  • Take in deep breathes
  • Focus our mind on your breath, imagine the path the breath is taking in your body. Your stomach rise and decreases.
  • Be present in the moment and ignore the thousands of thoughts flying buzzing around in your crowded minds. Your thoughts will still be there. Just acknowledged them and refocus on the present.

Meditation allows your mind and body to relax and bringing it back to the present.  I have been practicing meditation for months to heal my mind, get back to being healthy and happy again.

  • Breathe

What? I breathe every second, so what kind of breathing are you talking about?  I am talking about intentional breathing which few studies show to greatly reduce stress.  It is a mini meditation for me.  When I was stressed out (which was a normal state when I worked for the Devil wears Panda boss) I would stop for 10 seconds to take 3 deep breathes, then I focused my mind on my breaths bringing it back to the present and cleared out of the fog.

Karen has a “breath when the marker drops” rule. It was a method that she learns from a leadership emotional intelligent program. When she senses that she drops her maker (it is a term that she uses to describe the state of mind when her stress level rises and her heart beats faster) because work stress or irritants, she will start breath slowly ten times, puts on her pre-recorded 5 minutes mediation and walks outside for 5 minutes. Cortisol takes approximately 18 minutes to clear from our body, so by the time she completes all these tasks, the cortisol level will normalize in her body and she can make the right decision with the right mindset.

Try it out when you feel that the walls are closing in around you and your heart start to race. Remember to breathe!

  •  B e with people who you love

I will never admit this out loud but when I was at my lowest point, my family and well…the little monster niece (shush! don’t tell them that) was what kept me going and getting better.  A study on Social Relationship and Mortality Risk show that those had strong social support were at 50% lower risk of mortality than those who were isolated and without social support.  If you have someone that you can call on to just have a ‘bitch fest’ to take your minds off the stressful thinking. Call that person. Go for a walk or coffee or just talk! It is very emotionally effective (thanks Karen!).

  •  Exercise

Many studies (too many for me to quote) demonstrated the benefits of exercise to reduce stress. Wait! Before you hit the treadmill at the gym, remember that you don’t need to go there to exercise. Read my post on a home gym. Yes, my $4 dumbbells are still the best investment ever and mini-me is always willing to wrestle with me.

Physically, when you exercise (in whatever method of your liking), your body is active and it will start to pump up endorphins.  Endorphin is known as: the feel-good hormone which improves your moods. Not kidding. This is true. Look it up!  More than the physical boost, able to exercise is also an ego boost for you when you are at the low point because you show that you can achieve something! You get something done! Check mark. So, whenever you feel sad and at a low point, put on a pair of comfy shoe and go for a walk. Preferably, with your pet or a companion who can give you some cheers. Mini-me and Karen, where are you guys?

  •  Hobbies

Hobbies is a one of my big stress relievers. I am a cross-stitcher. There I admit it. Karen still can’t understand why I like cross-stitching because it seems so pain staking to her. Well, she plays Candy Crush, paints with mini-me and reads for stress relief. Each to their own. But for me, I will reach for my cross-stitching basket when I feel my shoulder and neck starts to tighten (in case you’re wondering this is my favourite cross stitch designer).

When I cross-stitched, my mind focused solely on the needle, threads and patterns so all the negative thoughts buzzing in my mind just went blank for those time.  Karen hung all of my finished works in the house, so I am quite an accomplished cross-stitching woman.  So, I encourage you to pick up the shovel, brush, pencil to work on your garden, paint or draw when you feel that your mind is in a fog. #merelaxingtime! Your mind needs the rest and healing.

  •  Laugh

Yes, laughter is the best medication.  Whether it is a Will & Grace, Friends or Gilmore Girls binge watching weekend with my bestie Karen or Korean variety (1 night & 2 days is my favourite) laughter was an almost instant relief that helped me heal.

When you laugh, your body starts to release endorphins (the happy hormone) which will then reduce the stress response, relax muscle which soothe the tension in your body.  Laughter can also improve your immune system and mood. So, when you feel down, find things that can crack you up with a hearty laugh. If it is not Korea oddities and over the top variety shows, perhaps the funny pair of Joe and Chandler can crack you up.

  •  Keep a gratitude journal

Seriously? I am not twelve anymore and you ask me to keep a gratitude journal? What is that anyway?  I was very skeptical when my therapist asked me to do this. According to her, a gratitude journal is nothing more than a log or journal of things that you are thankful for.  The git of it is to motivate you.

When you are down and full of negative thoughts and emotions, it is important to remind yourself of the positive things in your life to counter the negativities.  By keeping a journal, you are having a visual reminder of what you are living for. In addition, the journal acts as a force to keep your mind away from thousands of negative thoughts and brings your clear mind back to the present (another form of meditation?) looking at good things that happening now.

So now, I consistently write down two things that I am thankful for each day. Example: I am grateful for my family.  I am grateful for black sesame bingsu (Korea shaved ice). It is not a joke. Bingsu is on my list and it is heavenly desert. The Korean Gods listen to me and they gave me this delicious desert.

Other methods from friends

These are my 7 tried and true stress management methods. My friends and life coach also recommended other methods that have worked for them. Give these a try if you could. It bounds to be good for your mind and body.

  • Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet. I am all for this one. A healthy body will help your mind to heal faster.
  • Let go of problems that you cannot fix. This one is easy said than done. I learn to appreciate this principle. For a long time, I hung on to my job thinking that I could make the Devil wear Panda boss to change her attitude. And also, I hate losing and quitting. But after all this, I have realized that it is even more important to know when to let go. So prioritize things in your life and let go of things that you can’t change. It is not worth your health and time.
  • Schedule time for yourself to relax. Karen, this one is for you!
  • Consider yoga. Love this one!
  • Spend some time outdoors for a change of scenery. I am good with this too. Love the outdoor!

Final Words

Lastly, I want to say that stress is difficult to deal with physically and emotionally. But the cost of stress is too great for us to ignore it. With the increasing demand of work (no, there is really no work-life balance in corporate environment. Sorry for being the bearer of bad news!), more people are under constant stress.

It is important to know the stress symptoms that your body, mind and behaviour exhibit and so you can act to manage your stress right away. Don’t wait! Don’t try to tough it out liked I did because you would likely reach a breaking point. Deal with your stress and emotions before it get out of hand. There are 7 ways that I have been using to manage stress and finding happiness. Try them out or find ones that really work well for you. Whatever that stress relief is, I hope you find it and use it.

As my little endearing and wise beyond her age, niece said: “I am the boss of my body. I want to be healthy.” Yes, you are the boss of your beautiful body, mind and soul, so take good care of it. Life is too darn short and precious to be stressed out because of someone else’s malice intention, job, status, wants and whatever else. You only live once, so live happily and purposefully! I wish you a happy and stress-free ever after!

As always, I encourage you to share your thoughts and experience. By sharing your experience, you may be able to help someone else to overcome their challenges, so please do!

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10 common signs and indicators of stress
Mental HealthYour Health

10 common signs and indicators of stress

by Helen

Do you know that 110 million people die every year as a direct result of stress? That is 7 people every 2 seconds. This statistical data was reported the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). So why are people so stressed out?  Let’s take a look! An Uber software engineer who made six-figure income killed himself in 2016 due to workplace stress. A 21-year-old Merrill Lynch intern collapsed and died in London after working 72 hours straight. Yep, we all remember that one.

It always made me so sad to see someone died so senselessly. I don’t have to look far. Take short stroll around Toronto Financial District (aka: where the rat race begins) and I see a lot of people who have the “I am so burn-out” look racing back and forth in the paths connecting the financial office buildings.  Well, I was one of those people.

Both Karen and I experienced stress and burned out at some point in the last few years. Karen is a special case. She is constantly in the stress mode because she has been chasing one goal after another since the day she was born. The first born and their drive to success at all cost.  Give it a rest, Karen!  But I never thought that I would experience work burn-out but it happened to me.

Yep, I was diagnosed with mild depression resulting from stress. Yep, stress leads to depression and that’s not fun. Believe me! When I was diagnosed with depression, I was in total denial. It took me weeks to accept the hard reality. Well, that and I was crying a lot. Also signs of stress and depression that I totally missed out on.

Now you may ask: how would a single Gemini, carefree, free-spirit gypsy world-traveler like me end up with work stress? Well, I had a Devil wear Panda boss for a long…long time.  She wasn’t beautiful or well-dress like Meryl Street. But she was definitely meaner, has zero empathy, no emotional intelligent and jealous as a hell cat. Oh, yes, she had all brand-name stuffs but she had no sense of style hence the name Panda.

It wasn’t all bad when I started working for her, then I was promoted and groomed by my VP, that was when she turned into a nightmare. Jealousy wears Panda shaded of green and black, I tell ya.  Seriously, I thought woman should support and help out other woman, but she didn’t. Don’t get me start talking about this because I don’t know when I can end, and I digress.

Stressed out from working for the manic Devil wears Panda boss, I felt like my body and minds were constantly drained from suppressing my emotions and unhappiness. So, I got help from a life coach and therapist to help me deal with my situation and got back to being emotionally and physically happy again. As I dived into this subject to get a better understanding and found my path to happiness, I learn that many people share my experience and pains. The top stressors on most of people’s lists are: work, school, family, relationship, money, commuting and lack of time for themselves.

Yes, most of us think of stress as immediate everyday problems: the boss hovering over our desks, a break up with a cute boy, the crowded subway ride or in case of Karen, her precious mini me is unwell.  In the short-term, stress makes us feel irritable, anxious, tense, distracted and forgetful. In long term stress can chip away at our physical, mental and emotional health.

The link between chronic stress and the potential for mental health conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression and other mood disorders is well-known.  So let’s dive in and get a better understanding of stress and what are the earl warning signs.  It will be a long discussion (I warn you), but I think it is worth your time and effort to get a better understanding of this important topic.

What exactly is stress?

Well, stress is an instant physical response when your body thinks it is under attack. The human body is still conditioned to react as though we still live in cave and have to defense against wild beasts. When we are under stress, our bodies go into “fight or flight” mode and releasing a mix of hormones and chemicals such as adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine to prepare the body for physical action.  Our hearts will start to pound fast and furious. Then come the heavy breathing, and a boost of energy which in turn focus the body energy to respond to the situation.

See, this reaction is very useful when a wild and scary lion is charging toward you but in modern day environments (say work related or personal stress), this physical reaction is a dead trap waiting to happen if you experience it constantly. Imagine your body goes through this reaction every time and immediately when you are under stress. All that adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine pumping through your body continuously will wear you down mentally and then physically.

Our built-in caveman/woman instinct that helped us surviving predators and thrived in the Stone Age is now killing us in the modern age. Chronic stress can lead to health issues such as: increase in sugar and blood pressure levels due to release of cortisol, and a decrease in libido. It is not good news, I tell you.

How does stress affect your body?

Stress can affect your body, your thoughts, behaviour, action and feelings. There are signs that you are under stress. So look out for these early warning signs and symptoms.

  1. The knots on your back, neck and shoulder

When your mind senses danger, your body muscles will naturally tighten up and then it gets ready for the release of adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine hormone. The neck and back muscles are the area on your body that most likely tense up and get the blunt of the stress.

Shoulders are where my stress built up. When I was stressed out, my shoulder and neck muscles would tense up to a point where I couldn’t even more my neck.  Then I would beg my massage therapist to fit me into her schedule for a rescue session or made my way to my fall back (aka: Karen). Karen is free of charge but she has death hands. Seriously, she can break my neck. Those hands can break any muscles but they really hurt!  Now, you can have neck and back pain from other causes, but if you consistently have the same ache and pain in neck, back and shoulder, it is a good idea to assess and see if you experience stress.

  1. Constant headache and migraine

The other leading indicator of stress is headache which cause by tensions in your muscles or mind.   If you experience prolong and consistent headache or migraine to a point where you can’t sleep at night, it is a sure sign that you are stressed out. Looking back, I started to experience migraine consistently about 3 years ago but I chalked it up to body fatigue.  I should realize that it was stress, but I didn’t have the self-awareness and knowledge to know better.

  1.  Can’t kill the cold and flu bugs

Researches have shown that stress reduces body’s immunity by limiting inflammation. The danger is your body will get use to this level of cortisol over time and then it can’t fight off the bacteria. You can see where this will lead right? When you have a peaceful state of mind and having good immunity, you can fight off the nasty cold and flu bugs more effectively. When your body defense armor is down due to stress which impacts your immunity defense, your body is weaker and can’t fight off the bugs.

So when you get a cold that lasted for weeks and healing is nowhere in sign, I encourage you to take a step back and ask yourself that important question: Am I under too much stress?

  1. Focus and attention span of a 5 year old

“You have the concentration and focus of 5 years old”. Karen told me this couple of times but I shrugged it off as one of her nagging.  In the past years, it was getting harder for me to focus. I would start a task, and then I would be distracted by other stuffs and wasted hours of valuable time. In addition, my short term memory went down the drain. I had a tough time recalling recent facts but I didn’t think much of it.

Apparently, there is a scientific explanation for this. Research has connected long-term exposure to excess amounts of cortisol which shrinks of the brain’s memory center and production of protein that causes Alzheimer. I literally wanted to kick my own ass when I came across this piece of information. All the warning signs were in front of my eyes, but I kept ignoring them.

        5. Say good bye to your hair

Ladies, listen to this carefully. It is common for us to lose couple strands of hairs, but if your hair fall out in clumps then it is a different story. It is not normal. This is the sign that your body is telling you that you are experiencing telogen effluvium, trichotillomani or alopecia areata. Simplify put, your body immune is attacking your hair follicle.  And your hair follicle is losing the battle big time.

10 to 15 strands of hair fall out are normal, but hairs falling out in clumps would be the warning sign for you to see a doctor and have a long chat about your mental state.

          6. The expanding waistline and muffin top

When I experienced stress, my muffin top was big. Well, ginormous was the term that my niece described it. The little chipmunk was sure honest. The kicker was I didn’t even eat much during stressful time because I didn’t have much appetite. No matter how little I ate, my waistline and muffin top kept on expanding.  Do you experience this too? You can try all sorts of diets, but your middle section stubbornly expands as though it wants to challenge you.

The reason is stress causes your body to release high levels of cortisol into your veins. Cortisol causes higher insulin level in your body which resulted in lowering of your blood sugar. This reaction causes your body to crave sugary and comfort food.

It is not a coincidence that ice cream is the much beloved food when people are under stressed.  I am also one of those people.  Deserts, wines, noodles and dumplings were my staple during stressful time. I even binged on KFC and then dug up Italian tartufo for more relief. Most of my female friends are in the same boat, the more upset we are, the friendlier the ice-cream shop owner seem to be. Something about the sugar that seems to temporary soothe the pains. But it was just that, a temporary and brief relief.

To add more bad news, your body is also in instant fight or flight mode due to stress so naturally your survival instinct will kick in. To protect and prepare itself for survival, your body will store more fat instead of burning it.  Yep, double whammies.

  1. No restful night

Our body is built and condition for night sleep. So, when you can’t seem to get any sleep at night, it is a warning indicator that your state of mind is less than ideal. When your mind is constantly turmoil and working overtime to resolve issues, your body won’t get any rest. At one point, I had less than 5 hours of sleep per night and then I ended up worrying so much about my lack of sleep that I couldn’t fall asleep. It was a vicious cycle.  Without sleep and time for your body to heal and recharge from daily activities, you will experience a number of physical and mental health issues as a result.

        8.    Fatigue in the morning

Do you get up in the morning feeling worse than you feel at night?  If your body didn’t get any sleep to recharge and heal, then it is no wonder that you feel fatigue and has no energy in day time. When your body has to work overtime to handle the stressors, and yet it starts to store fat instead of burning it, your body ends up with no fuse to keep going. As a result, you will feel sluggish, no energy and drained. This physical and mental state will make you more irritable and prone to outburst.

Karen got quite a few tongue-lashings from me when I was at my low points. Looking back, I truly regretted not seeing the writing on the wall and got the help I needed immediately. Luckily, my family understand and forgive me. That’s why I feel so strongly about sharing my experience and hope that I can help you to get help before too late.

         9.   The matter of the heart and chest

It is all about hormones.  The release of the hormones (cortisol, adrenaline and noradrenaline) due to stress will cause a short-term increase in heart rate and blood pressure or chest pain. In short-term, this may not be life threatening to you but long term exposure to this condition will take a toll on the heart. It can lead to high blood pressure and high cholesterol as a result.  In worst case, it can lead to unhealthy habits like smoking, physical inactivity, and over-eating which also causes heart disease.

         10. Acne

A higher level of cortisol pumping in our body can cause cystic acne. I used to have bad case of acne in my early year (insert the link for the article 10 yr food journey), but I got rid of acne with healthy eating and Korean skincare over the year. But when I was under stress, my face would break out like a pepperoni pizza. Well, maybe it was not that bad but I really dislike acne skin. I have worked so hard and made a lot of changes to my diet and skincare to have healthy skin. Yet, stress brought the ugly acne right back. I tried so many products and drank lot of water but the nightmare acne won’t go away. But once I was destressed, my skin cleared out.

There are other signs but these 10 are the most common ones. Take it from someone who have been through a lot of stress to the point of mild depression, it is not a journey you will enjoy. So stay connected to your body and mind. Listen and see the warning signs that your body and mind are telling you and seek professional help immediately. Don’t wait because you will regret it! Share with me your experience about stress and warning signs that you know of. I truly believe that if we can talk about this and share our journey, we can help others to get well sooner. I can’t wait to hear from you.

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5 exercises that you can do at home without hitting the gym mat
Mental HealthPersonal FinancePhysical Health

5 exercises that you can do at home without hitting the gym mat

by Helen

If you read my post on my experience hitting the gym mat, then you will know that I don’t go the gym anymore.  Staying healthy and active is one of my “must do” to have a quality and happy life. Without the gym, I found alternative solutions to keep myself in a healthy shape.  The thought of not seeing the eye candies depressed me for about 5 minutes then I reminded myself why I didn’t want to gym. What was it again? Ah yes! The sweat and gym smell. Alternative solutions it is.

One of the things that I am good at is researching. I can spend hours looking up stuffs and playing detective. So, after many hours of researching in various medical articles as well as advice from my trusted nutritionist Ariell, I found my 5 alternative exercises that would keep my heart rate up and my muscle toned. My criteria for selecting the exercise was: it must be enjoyable. Life is too short not to enjoy every moment of it. With a little bit of imagination, creativity and new perspective, you can shift your mindset to enjoy activities that you aren’t normally enjoyed.

Getting back to my alternative exercises selection. Apart from the fact that weight training and gym machines are not the ideal fitness solutions for me due to my health condition, I also don’t like the fact that I have to make the time to get to the gym. It feels like a chore instead of a lifestyle that I can truly enjoy.

Most scientific, medical and fitness articles that I came across indicated that you can get healthy by doing exercise at home. The key thing is that you do something active, somewhere, sometime and be consistent about it.  Most experts agreed that it shouldn’t take much effort or money to design an effective workout program at home.

Things like fit balls, dumbbells, exercise bands or tubing, and push-up bars are an inexpensive way to create a routine that works all the major muscle groups in your body. Seriously, even with no props or expensive work out machines, you can build muscles and burn calories with all the information that available on the internet. Bless YouTube!

5 Components of an effective workout

Based on my research, an effective fitness program has five components. The fabulous news is you can accomplish these 5 components by working out in the comfort and cleanliness environment of your home. I still can’t stand the sweat even when the guy is Brat Pitt. I could change my mind if the guy is Christian Bale though. Below are the 5 components to have in an effective fitness program:

  1. A warmup. This can be as easy as a quick walk around your neighborhood. If you have a treadmill or a stationary bike at home, feel free to slowly and steady walk for 10 minutes.
  2. A cardiovascular (aerobic) workout. For the cardiovascular portion of your fitness routine, walk or pedal faster if you prefer walking outside on a treadmill. Now, if you want to feel a bit sexier, try step aerobics with a video. Feeling more courageous and pushing your boundary a bit more, try jumping rope. The key is to get your heart rate up while doing something you enjoy. I prefer a speed walking while tightening my butt muscle. Yes, a shapely butt appeals to the superficial woman in me. There I admit it.
  3. Resistance, strength-building exercises. This is the component of the fitness routine that can make you say: Ouch! I did and many times. Resistance exercise can be as simple as squats, push-ups and abdominal crunches if you want to really tighten up certain body muscles. I have been doing consistent abdominal crunches to build more strength on my lower body (also known as my muffin top). If these “ouch worthy” exercises don’t appeal to you, try workout with small dumbbells, a weight bar, bands or tubing. The objective of this portion of exercise is muscle strength and toning to protect your joints from injury.
  4. Bend it like Beckham – flexibility moves. This portion is where you can increase your flexibility with floor stretches or yoga poses. Love my tree and warrior poses!
  5. Time for a cooldown. You start with a warm up and so you must end with a cool down! The same exercises that you use to warm your body up can be used to cool it down. If you still feeling sexy, you can also use cardiovascular work routine (aka: step aerobics) at a low level to bring the heart rate down to a resting state. Step lightly on it, ladies.

 How did I get started?

Well, I learned a good lesson from my gym experience so I listened my body this time. To start, I aimed for 35 minutes of cardiovascular (aerobic) exercise and I did them consistently at least three times a week.

In addition, I spent 20 to 30 minutes of strength work and also for three times a week. I tried to have three sets of 10-15 repetitions of each strength exercise to make sure I targeted all major muscle groups. One thing to keep in mind is to cover all major muscle groups such as your upper body, lower body, abdominal and back. By working to improve all these major muscle groups, you can build up the strength for your entire body (not just one or two parts) and protecting all your joints.

I used to have really bad back pains (one of many health issues that I used to have) but regular exercise and healthier and selective dietary have reduced my pains and aches substantially.  I still have lot of work to make my muffin top disappear but I am not in a hurry. Enjoy my workout is more important than excess weight on my tummy. I have been slowly increasing the length and repetition of the exercises as my muscles strengthen and can tolerate more exercising.

Now I will sound like a yoga instructor, but I want to leave you my first advice: stay focus on the muscles that you want to work on. Then feel it. If you are doing the abs crunches and yet you feel tightness it in your neck, then STOP. Do a quick scan of your body and let your body tell you what you should do next. I can’t say enough about the important of staying tune with your body.

My 5 most enjoyable workout routine

I set out to create my own enjoyable workout routine and I did. Here are my 5 absolute favourite workout alternatives:

1 – Long walks.

Why jump on a treadmill when you can take a walk in a trail?  Apart from walking, I can also enjoy the scenery and talk to people. I also dragged Karen into walking with me. Truth be told, she needed it more than me. When the weather permitted, we walked and we took mini-me (my niece) with us.  She rode her bike while Karen and I tried to catch up with her. I am telling you, this exercise beats jumping rope anytime and the little mini-me can bike fast. Hello aerobics workout!

The enjoyable part is talking and sharing the moment with people I love.  It is also very educational for mini-me because she constantly asks about flowers, plants and other things that she spots on the trail. So, Karen and I know quite a bit about wild flowers, plants and insects.

A pet also makes great walking companion. It is good for you and your pet. Long walk is not only good exercise but it is a great method to clear your mind.  Whenever I was stressed out or went through a tough time, long walks did amazing thing to give me clarity and declutter my mind.

2 – Swimming time.

Swimming is a really good exercise because you can work all major muscle groups. When you swim, you will engage all parts of your body into a rhythm, and you can set the pace as will. So, check out your neighborhood’s community center or a privately run pool.

3 – Playing time.

Just for fun and testing out a theory, I wore a health watch while playing with mini-me. After 30 minutes with her, I burned 200 calories. Seriously, all we did was run around the kitchen and wrestled a bit. She won the wrestling match though.  I had a lot of fun with her and we created lasting bond.

Karen is certain that my niece loves me more than her mother because I am her most reliable source of ice cream, bubble tea and cake supply but I think it is the time that we spend together. The laughter and the memories we share, and that worth a lot more than a few calories to me. So, instead of making time for the gym, spend the time to play with your kids, nieces or nephews.  It is a win – win, I tell you.

 4 – YouTube!

There are tons and tons of content creators on YouTube who provide free exercise videos. I was livid and almost kicked my own butt because I paid CAD$1000 for something I could get free of charge! $0 instead of $1000. Some of my favourite YouTube exercise routines come from Fitness Blender. I use their workout videos extensively when old man winter visited Canada and I couldn’t do outside walk. For you yogis, try YogaTX, and Yoga with Adriene.  They are my morning go-to channels.

 5 – Home gym.

Got ya! I didn’t spend money to build a home gym. I got a set of 5 lbs dumb bell for $4 at a garage sale. Best $4 spent ever! During the winter, my lazy day or when I was short on time, I stuck to a 5 minutes jumping jack, 20 squats, 20 lunges, 5 minutes arm muscle work with my $4 dumbbell and a 45 seconds planks. I repeated the routine as many as my time or lazy body permitted. If you don’t want to spend $4 (which I did for about 3 months) you can use water bottles. I know it will work because I used water bottles as weight for 3 months.

My last tips for home exercisers

My last 2 cents on home exercises and I hope you find them useful:

Challenge yourself and select the exercise that you will enjoy.

At home, you won’t have access to equipment, class’s instructor or pricey private trainer that are available at a gym. So do your research and make sure you get the good set of exercises routine that you can enjoy. I find YouTube videos very useful because I am a visual learner. Seeing the correct postures that the experts demonstrated in their video helped me optimizing my workout and prevented me from injuries.

Find an exercise partner.

You will be more motivated if you work out with a partner. Karen and mini-me are my endearing partners in my getting healthy crime.

Schedule your workouts.

I typically set a 30 minute workout to wake my body up then I work out after my dinner. Regardless of the time of the day, give yourself time to rejuvenate your body and mind. It is my little blissful moment that I look forward to everyday.

Set workout goals for yourself.

Goals help to motivate you because it is something you can’t do right now, but you know is within your reach. My goal is 2 inches of my waist and then I will reward myself with this gorgeous yellow and white summer dress that I have been eyeing. A little pick me up is a good way to make me move my butt.

Exercise is a lifestyle commitment.

You have to think of it as a lifestyle commitment and an on-going component of having a happy life. It doesn’t end when you get a nice abs or butt, it continues. Get out of the mindset that exercise is something you are only going to do for a period of time. Repetition and continuation! Like eating healthy, this journey goes on.

Ok, I will end my rambling here. Do you exercise at home? Please share your home gym idea. I love to learn from your getting healthy journey and more importantly good home gym ideas.

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4 reasons for a woman to travel solo and have a blast
Mental HealthTravelYour Relationship

4 reasons for a woman to travel solo and have a blast

by Helen

“Doesn’t it get lonely when you travel solo? And is it safe? A girl travel alone, I don’t know. It is risky. Why don’t you travel with Karen and her family?” These were the questions that my friends asked me when I told them I traveled somewhere solo. There seems to be this fear that solo travel is very unsafe for woman.

In contrary, I like to travel solo. Well, I love travelling period! If I can afford to, I will travel till my legs can no longer move. I could be a travelling gypsy in my previous life.  My favourite pastime is reading travel blogs. It sort of like my mini “mind-get away” when I need to escape but can’t yet due to well…budget constraint.

Here are my favourite bloggers: Marie-Eve at To Europe and Beyond, Amanda at Dangerous-Business, Jodi at Legal Nomads, Kristin at Be My Travel Muse and Lauren from Never Ending Footstep.  You can see it right? Yep, they are my pep. They are the awesome, fearless modern travelling gypsy ladies and they are fabulous.   All of these fab ladies raised and discussed the issue of woman travelling solo. I didn’t know this issue was “a controversial thing” until I read their blogs. It is not easy to be a woman isn’t it?

Travel solo is common in my family because my mom, Karen or I all traveled solo at some points. I was 20 years old when I did my first solo stretch.  I was in my 2nd year of university and I well…sort of having a little too much fun and had a slight drop in my grade. A slight dip was all it took for my mom and Karen to get bend out of shape.  The arm sergeant, also known as Karen drilled and then lectured me for hours before released me. So, I decided to take a year off to re-charge.

Inner Mongolia seemed like the right place for a re-charge, I decided.  What would be better than goat milk tea, constant sand storms, freezing cold, cut-throat expensive leafy green and 50% of the foods were pickled? Yum! Signed me up.  Like I said, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I had a little (just a little, I swear) to much fun. So, when a university in Inner Mongolia looked for an English speaking teacher, I jumped at the chance.

Inner Mongolia wasn’t a place of luxury but it was a place of raw beauty and you could learn a lot about Chinese culture, way of life, challenges and things that just perplexed you. I spent one year in Inner Mongolia and I traveled to most part of China during my 1 year stint there. Beijing, Datong, Dalian, Dandong (also known as the border between China and North Korea), and I almost made it to the Tibet border before I realized that I couldn’t go into this autonomous region because it was off limit to foreigner unless I got the authorization from the Chinese government. Well, I was very careful at the Dantong area to never cross to the hermit kingdom. The Kim’s educational camp (as they called) was not a place that I could survive.

My second and third solo run was Holguin, Cuba.  I needed a break and Karen wasn’t available, so I just went by myself. I had a blast and everyone at the all-inclusive resort felt bad for me because they all thought that I had a bad breakup and went alone to lick my wounds. Seriously, why would people think that when woman traveled alone she had no one in her life? But they did and I didn’t brother to care. I had a blast though. It was restful and peaceful. I did what I wanted and when I wanted. Easy and breezy!

Then, I was tapped to travel to Ireland for a 6 months work assignment 2 years ago. Loved it! Every weekend, I was out and discovering the mystical land where leprechauns ran wild (well, in my imagination anyway).  I tasted Guinness in all 4 provinces of fabulous country. Kissed the rock at Blarney Castle and did few more unspeakable things. Well, Karen thinks they are, but I don’t.

When back to my homeland of maple leaf and delicious maple syrup, I made short trips to Halifax, Nova Scotia and Montreal on my own.  I am so used to travel by myself that I made a silly assumption that every women like travel solo. Yes, it was silly of me but I have always been very comfortable with my own company. I traveled with Karen often but I did a lot of things on my own.  Whether going to the movie, shopping or weekend trip, I just did what I wanted on my own bucks and my own time.   Anyway, I can easily amuse myself so it never bothers me.  So, it was a bit of a reality dose when my fearless woman travellers pointed out that solo travel was not always ideal for women. Seriously? So why do people travel solo? Why I travelled alone?

Here are my 4 reasons to travel solo

 1 – Live your life; don’t wait for anyone because you never know what you will miss.

Well, this is my biggest and main reason. I want to LIVE! And it is my life so I shouldn’t wait for someone else to get mine started. Granted, Karen will always support me (my one and only sugar mommy) but I don’t want her to give up things in her life to accommodate my needs. So when I saw a promo for round trip flight to Taipei, Taiwan for $500 last year, I salivated. Taiwanese food is on my list for many years. Din Tai Fung ‘s xiaolongbao (steamed dumplings), night market, the land of people that invested the heavenly drink called bubble tea that can instantly lift my spirit. What was I waiting for? Taiwan, here I come!

No one was available to go with me. Karen was building her dream home and desperately preventing my brother in-law/her hubby from turning their dream home into a case of “Vatican meet Forbidden Palace”. How do those two stay together for almost 20 years? They are at opposite end of most of things. I digress.

 I had 2 choices: 1) go by myself or 2) wait for someone to go with me and pay $1,000 for same ticket. Forget that!  I bought the ticket that night. Mark Chao, wait for me! O.K! Maybe not. I am not that into the brooding look and also Karen may pass out from envy. Like many Asian women who got a glimpse of Eternal Love, she succumbed to deep and sexy voice of Mark Chao. He is one good looking guy though. Say no more!

I was so jazzed planning to eat and drink my way thru Taiwan and possibility catching a glimpse of hot Taiwanese actor (hey, a woman can dream) till my mom decided that her precious granddaughter could potentially survive for 12 days without grandma.  So, she promptly invited herself along. What? This was me time, mom.  Ah, no it was no longer me time when my mom was involved.

So, my point is: live your life and others may decide to join you.  If family and friends can join you, then it is great.  If not, you never know when Cupid may decide to shoot you and a hot guy an arrow of fate and love.  Just saying, it may happen for you.  The best part of solo travel is you are the driver of your solo travel vehicle and you can go when and where you want! Live your life now.

2 – Make new friends and open yourself to new learning and possibilities.

I am an introvert and so I am reserved when I meet someone new. But once I get to know someone and get a comfort level, then I am a chatterbox. I discovered that when I traveled solo would open up to stranger. Yes, the oddities of me. During my trip to Cuba, I made friends with a gentleman who came to visit his son and daughter (they were Cubans while he was a Canadian). Through him, I learned so many amazing facts about Cuban daily lives, their culture, and what had been changing in that small but mighty little island over past 20 years. I had wonderful conversation with him and I looked forward to our daily chat because I learned so many interesting things and facts from him.

 While trekking my way thru Kilkenny, Ireland I meet this wonderful lady who was on her first solo trip to Scotland, England and Ireland.  This was a dream trip that she and her deceased husband wanted to make but he passed away before they had the chance. With him in her heart, she made the trip for both of them.  We sat next to each other on the tour bus and became fast friends.  I learned about her family’s journey from Ireland to US. I have a whole new appreciation for how tough the Boston Irish Americans could be. These people were tough as nails and hearty as Guinness drinks.

She was a delightful person and shared with me life story and her adventure eating of haggots in Scotland. I couldn’t believe my eyes. What was in that haggots? The best part was probably when we came across a store that had the same name as her maiden name. She was thrilled and to see the joy, amazement, and tears of happiness that she had was a great joy for me too.

I believed that people tend to be more open, willing and warmer when they travel. Partly because they tend to be in better moods (well, no work) and in a new environment which can tickle people sense of adventure and willingness to embrace new things including friendship. I made friends on trips that I still stay connected with. I have heard endless stories of how people met on trips and became friends or even romantic happy endings. Who know what you will get when you open your heart and mind to new possibilities.

3 – Stretch your comfort zone.

Pub hopping in the Dublin Temple Bar area was one of my best travelling experience.  True be told, I am not a bar crawler. I got it out of my system in university days.   I am the nice dinner with good wine and desert preferably with nice ambient kinda of woman.   So when Karen and my friends learned that I pub crawled, they were flabbergasted.   Well, I didn’t lose my mind temporary.

On a day trip to Glendalough, Ireland I met a fellow traveller who was also in Ireland for work, but she was there for one week only. We quickly hit it off and decided to have dinner when we reached Dublin. It was the Irish wine did us in, because we decided to go to Temple Bar after dinner and then we literally crawled thru every bar within the district that night.  We danced and jammed with the bands and just had a really good time.  To meet the objective of crawling thru every bar in Temple Bar area, we had   each had 1 drink sang 2 songs at each location and then moved to the next target. Yep, we did.

 On my own or with my friends, I would never do that. But something about being with someone who didn’t know my life story and a new place pushed me to do something totally out of character. I wasn’t sorry. I had a blast and wonderful memories.

 4 – Time for reflection.

Karen told me about this one and I must agree with her on this. She travelled to a remote island in Cuba for a one week alone time leaving her then fiance at home. Our friends all thought that they had problem and Karen wanted time to think. The truth was Karen has been and always will be an independent woman and she wanted her me time for self-reflecting.

Alone time for self-reflecting is one healthy thing that you can do to bring peace to your mind. You will get to know yourself better than you ever have before, learn what truly makes you happy and what you need to work on to improve as a person. It can often be challenging to face these truths but learning to overcome and growth as an individual. When you’re on your own, you can do whatever you want without having to worry about anyone else. That freedom and solitude is incredibly liberating.

What are the downsides of solo travelling?

With all good stuffs of traveling alone, there are downsides too especially if you are a woman. Here are just of the few issues that most of the woman solo travellers and me identified:

1 – Safety 

 Safety was always on my mind when I was on my own and in a foreign land. It was difficult to ask for help because I didn’t know if I could trust someone to help me. There was always that nagging feeling that you could be taken advantage as a woman.

2 – It can be lonely if you are on the road for a long time.

Many of friends would agree this is one main reason for them to have a partner instead of going solo. We are sociable creatures and we thrilled on interactions with other human beings. So yes, it can be lonely when you are eating alone in the restaurant and have no one to share a joke, to enjoy the fabulous foods and discuss interesting that you learn on the trip. And don’t you hate it when the waiter condescendingly says:  “Table for one?” It can sound so judging. I am being judged for dining on my own. Darn you waiter. No tips!

3 – Higher Costs.

For budget-minded travelers (aka Karen, the budget hawk), cost is a major downside because traveling alone nearly always works out to be much more expensive than traveling as a couple. As a couple, you can share meals, rooms and expenses. Let’s not forget about cost for private tour. It is definitely cheaper per person if you have 2 instead of numero uno. There’s no doubt about it: solo travel supplements can suck big time for the solo woman.

There are ways to mitigate these downsides though. And I definitely want to share with you.

1 – Know your limit and have self-control.

Ok, don’t roll your eyes at the screen. I know what is going thru your mind right now. Yeah, this is coming from a woman who did a pub crawl. Lady, listen to your elders! In my defense, I was not drunk that night. I knew that I would be able to handle the amount of alcohol and I drunk a lot of water in between to sober up.   I was still able to walk, knew my direction, got in a taxi safely, paid the fair in correct amount and walked to my apartment in a straight line!

Hah! Also, I had my cell phone with numbers of couple of my peps who could bail me out of emergency situation. They were on my speed dial. I planned for these things. It was years in training with Karen, the planner. Yes, I will have fun but I always stop before I reach my limit and have control on my mind and body. So don’t drink to the point where you can’t fight back.

2 – Avoid empty streets or alleys.

Temple Bar was always a crowded area and I avoided the empty lanes at all cost. You never know who can be lurking around the corner so stay on the safe area where there are a lot of people can see you.

3 – Don’t go looking for trouble.

You should have fun and let loose, but don’t go looking for trouble unnecessary. Don’t go to areas that known as shady part of the towns. Single or travel in pair, you can get yourself into trouble if you go into those places.

4 – Listen to your instinct.

If your gut feeling is giving you a kick then listen to it! Don’t speak to someone if your gut is giving you the jitters or when the pit of your stomach drops like a ton.  Listen to your instinct, mind and body.

5 – Look for savings.

As a solo traveler, you will have to pay a single room supplement if you stay in hotel or motel. But if you book an Airbnb apartment, it can save you a few bucks. When you make friend with other travellers and you have good feeling about them, it won’t hurt to ask if you can travel together for shared destinations so you can lower the travelling cost. I did that many times. I typically looked for other women who shared the same interests. It is your time to open yourself up to new adventure so explore the new possibilities.

I will end my rambling here. My last words on this subject are: I encourage you wholeheartedly to give solo travel a shoot. You may enjoy it and discover many new things about YOU!   So, go buy that ticket to Taiwan, Spain, Italy, Korea or Peru.  Wherever it is, don’t just have it as our bucket list. Do it! Make your bucket list come alive and don’t wait for someone to make the trip with you. You may be missing out on wonderful experiences if you wait. I would hate to see you looking back one day and say I wish I did that. So don’t wish! Just do it.

Share with me your solo travel tales. I love to hear it. I am obsessed about all things travels so don’t leave me hanging.

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Quality or Quantity – 5 Reasons to downsize your wardrobe
Mental HealthPersonal FinanceWardrobe

Quality or Quantity – 5 Reasons to downsize your wardrobe

by Helen

The beginning

Do you still remember your first love? I do, it was a pair of aqua blue 3-inch Steve Madden sandal. After that, I kept falling in love over and over again until my closets were filled with the latest trends. I didn’t really know why I felt the need to buy so much clothes but I did. And it was getting harder to find an outfit because there were so many and I couldn’t find them in the mountain of stuffs.

One morning, after spending 10 minutes to push and pull a bunch of stuffs from the tightly pack racks of clothes, I was short of breath and annoyed. I was annoyed at myself for creating this overflow mountain of clothes and I asked myself: Do I really need all these clothes? How did I get here? When did I buy this much clothe? It got me to analyze what do these clothes means to me.

While I mentally scanned my closet and its contents, I started to reflect on the journey that led me to each piece of cloth and this mini mountain of stuffs that accumulated in my closet. The trial and error, the hits and the misses and how much money did I spend on stuffs that I didn’t even wear that often or never wear at all. Back then, my motto was: latest trend and lot of it. I couldn’t care less about the quality. Quantity mattered more to me.

The Debate

Couple of days later, I got together with a friend for dinner. Over dinner, wine, career and a little bit of male bashing discussion, I posted the question of quality vs quantity clothing purchase. My dear friend was a champion of quality over quantity. She obsessed over cashmere and silk.  I didn’t know how fast she could run until I saw her making a dash to grab the last cashmere sweater at Brooks Brothers. Her ninja legs could move at the speed of a bullet train. She had some good points supporting buying quality over quantity:

1. Longer lasting clothes, less shopping more saving.

It is counter intuitive to say: by paying more per item, you will save more. Her argument was: it came down to casual wear vs office attire. You would wear your office clothes more often than casual ones because you spent an average 40 hours at work plus couple hours of traveling time. Your office wears would be worn out before the casual wear.

But the winter boot was when she got me good. She compared my $60 winter boots that I bought every year to her $300 boot which has lasted for years. If you lived through a Canadian/Siberian winter then you know what I’m talking about. I lost count how many times I stepped outside for couple minutes and then ended up with soaking wet feet because my boots are not fully waterproof.

So, I finally got smart and invested in a pair of Sorel women’s Joan of Arctic boot. These babies were expensive. I paid $300 but they lasted and so warm. Do you want to spend $60 on a pair of boot that won’t last you one winter or a $300 one will ensure you have warm feet for 4 – 5 winters? When you buy quality items, they typically last longer which means less money spent, and less trips to the land of temptation (aka: MALL) and giving in to the spending beast that I called impulse purchases.

2. You will take better care of the expensive items.

When you spend more money on an item, it usually means you really like it and it makes you feel good. When you buy quality, every item in your wardrobe is your favourite. If they are your favourite, you will care for them well and in return, your items can last longer. It is a domino effect, ladies! More importantly, when you look good in your favorite outfit, it will have a positive lifting to your spirit and mindset giving you the confident to tackle your day.

3. You will be less wasteful.

We live in a very wasteful culture. We want more and new stuffs all the time. Just stop for one second and think this through. The more crap you buy, the more crap you eventually have to get rid of. If you’re buying poor quality shirts, you will have to get rid of them more frequent. This will not do your wallet any good.

4. You will save space for more living.

Well, I couldn’t argue about this one. My small mountain of cloth spoke volume. I will shut up now. The less cloth you have also means less time to clean, care for them and ah… yes, more spaces for you.

5. You will shop less.

For the ladies who love shopping therapy likes me, this might is not a plus. What? No shopping therapy, what should we do to reduce stress? For a long time, I loved shopping but then I slowly realized I used shopping to deal with other unhappiness in my life (namely Panda boss). I brought stuffs that I didn’t use because I needed that instant few minutes of gratification to lift my spirit but that feeling was short and fleeting. I ended up not using 1/3 of what I brought and I added more stress to my life because I overspent on shopping for useless stuffs and had to work harder to pay for them. Vicious circle, I tell you

The Purge

Tipsy and deflated but I still had enough brain power to grab the wisdom of my dear friend’s logics. So, I started researching on the best way to clean up your closet. That was when I came across Marie Kondo and her KonMari method. This is one organized lady, I tell you.

To be honest, I thought she was Karen’s long lost twin because they both have this insane drive and determination to follow their convictions. Hum…Tea time with Marie and Karen, I shuddered at the thought. But I was determined to make some changes and my closet was busting at the seam, so there I went. I banned Karen from coming over to my house on the day of KonMari, because she is a first-rate cheapskate and she would talk me into keeping stuffs or grab my thing for herself (which is not recommended in the KonMari method).

It was a simple technique but it was very hard to follow because:

  • First, I had to take everything out of your closet. Cloth, shoes, purse, bags, accessories and everything else must be pull out and on the floor. Jesus! Why did I have so much stuff? I was out breath from lugging things within 15 minutes
  • Then, I had to pick up every item and asked myself this question: Does this item give me joy?
    • If the answer was Yes, I kept the item
    • If the answer was No, I throw it away
    • If the answer was Maybe, then I had one last chance to decide after careful consideration

It was a blood bath. I ended up with 6 bags of stuff to throw away. Karen helped me drop them off at the donation bins and ended up with sore arms. There went thousands of dollars.  What I realized after this awful KonMari exercise was the fact that these stuffs did not just cluster my space but also my mind. I felt lighter and happier looking at my much more organized closet.

There were actually movements in the closet and I could see my clothes finally. More importantly, all the items I decided to keep are things that bring a smile to face or they made me feel good and confident. Why did it take me so long to realize this?

So now I am embarking on a new wardrobe strategy. I planned carefully what I need instead of buying on impulse and I tried to deal with issues in my life thru other means instead of shopping therapy (long walks, punching couch pillows, etc.).

Here is my new found philosophy and method of wardrobe investment:

  • Have a plan.Rather than jumping right into a major closet clean-out blindly, always start with a strategy to keep you on track and be clear on what you need. I started out with pulling my entire closets into middle of an empty room.  Then I pick-up each item, if I feel joy it goes to keep pile. No joy? Then its discard or donation.
  • Plan and set a budget. I know you may hate the B word. I do too, but then Karen set me straight. That budget hawk has her use. Once you have your personal budget, then you can have a plan of what and when you can buy the items that you LOVE but don’t yet have. The most important part in this step is to be honest with yourself. It is what you Love not what you want on a whim. With all the daily expenses in your life, you should never go into debt for the sake of your wardrobe. The last thing you want to have is financial stress for sake of fashion.
  • Bargain hunting. I love eBay. Karen probably told you how she shops. It is true, I got really good deals on eBay for her. Now, I have semi-annual shopping trip also known as my semi-annual clothing haul. Twice a year I, my friend and Karen drive to major outlet malls in US. Armed with our lists of “must”, we brought what we love and no more. I got Tahari, DKNY, Jones NY and Ralph Lauren at bargain price and I had a day of fun with my friend and sister.

In addition, I also took Karen’s mommy’s stylish wardrobe advices. Karen is boring (ex-banker and Capricorn) but she is very logical and good with the budget. If you are also seeing your closet busting at the seam and you spending money on items that you only wear once, it is worth your time to give it some serious thoughts. I am not a therapist but I learn from my experience that:

  • Shopping therapy did not give me long lasting joy
  • Quality is way better for my wallet than quantity
  • Cluster closet is bad for my physical space and mind
  • Dealing with root cause of my issue helps me to have a more blissful and happy life instead of masking my issues with instant gratification
  • Having a plan and making strategic purchases will give me a closet full of clothes that I love and give me lot of joy and confident

There! I will finally stop now. Tell me your wardrobe story. I love to hear from you.

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Do I need to go to a gym to get healthy?
Physical HealthYour Health

Do I need to go to a gym to get healthy?

by Helen

The gym locates across my office has a brilliant idea. Instead of wall, the gym has all glass fronts so you can see everything and more importantly who work out. The women in my office all agree, the glass front design is the best feature of the gym because they can drool over hot guys, muscles and nice-looking abs.  The men in my office are also in agreement but they will never dare to say it out loud. I must admit some of the guys working out in that gym have great bodies, but I often wonder does great body equate to health? Do you have to work out every day and have tone body to be considered healthy? We do have an obsession with body image, do we?

Thus, it is not surprising that there has been an explosion of gyms in North America cities. You can probably find a gym in your immediate neighborhood and sometimes multiple ones within short walking distance of each other.  Rows and rows of machines, treadmills, body pump, yoga or spin classes all day. People are lining up to sweat their butts off on these machines and classes.  But is it working? Are all these gyms helping or hurting? Do you really need the gym or does it need you? I’ll share with you my own journey with smelly gym mat.

About just 2 years ago, my health was at the lowest point.  I was around 180lbs but I felt like a 200lbs penguin.  Constantly, I had stomach pain and my body was aching all over.  I was a 30 something in a 70 years old woman body. On top of that, I was easily short of breath after climbing the stairs. And no, it wasn’t a long stair. 3 flights of stairs were enough to knock the wind of my sail. Well, I couldn’t go on like that and I decided to make a drastic change. I decided to join a gym to get healthy.

Yes, the big G word. I will share something personal: I hate gym because I am very sensitive to smell. If you have been in a gym you know what I am referring too. To get those 6 packs you will have to really sweat it out. And that was my turn off. I didn’t and still don’t like the sweat smell. Just my luck, every guy that I considered “somewhat hot” usually sweated big time. It was a huge turn off to see big fat sweats just rolling down and then came the smell.  Yuk! I digress from my disappointment in the male specie. The bigger muscle the guy has the more sweat he seems to produce. Seriously! Ok, I need to stop here.

As it happened, my employer had a partnership with a well know gym and I would get a decent discount on the price. Well, this couldn’t hurt too much, so I decided to jump on the gym band wagon (or a treadmill in my case).  The sign-up process was quite easy and I met with an associate from the gym for a walk through after much dreads. I was somewhat a gym virgin (like I said, hate the smell of sweat) so I was uncomfortable with the machines. Sensing my uneasiness, the associate suggested meeting with a trainer to see how they could best help me. Hum…was this a sale pitch? Yep, it certainly was.  I could see the associate was practically jumping for joy when he discovered that I had very little knowledge about machines and work-out techniques but I was desperate to improve my health.

To be honest, I didn’t and still don’t have a problem with my body.  I like my shape and curves. I know that I don’t have model body and I am happy with that.  My main objective was to get healthy and if I got my butt into shape that would work for me too. So, off I went to meet with the trainer and he proceeded to check my Body Mass Index (BMI) and a few other things. He promised that he would be get me in the best shape of my life and just to drove the point home, he show me a computer graphic of my post 6 months training body.  Wow! The post 6 month training “me” had Kim Kardashian body?

This guy really knew how to sell. Sensing that I had a real concern about health issue, he talked in length about how exercise would improve my moods and health.  But I got a bit annoyed when he kept hooping on how much weight I would lose and how great I would look. So after 15 minutes of him went on and on about this, I politely said: “Look, I don’t want to look like Kim Kardashian. It doesn’t bother me that I weight at 180 lbs. I only want to get healthier. My only objective is to improve my health. That’s all”. Signal received, he stopped the weight loss pitch after that.

This is one thing that I like to point out: the gym associate and trainer will push for a private training because they work on commission. They will tell you a lot of good stuffs to get you to sign up but you are the one in charge of your body and wallet so don’t let them talk you into something that you don’t really need.  I didn’t buy in their sale pitch because I did the research in advance and I knew what I needed to do. I decided to go with a trainer due to 2 main reasons:

  • Maximize the workout result in short time. I didn’t know the work out techniques. And yes, I could just jump on the treadmill, but I didn’t have a lot of time to work out so I wanted to maximum result with little time I had at the gym. A trainer could help me work out more effectively and efficiently since they have the expertise.
  • Motivation. I knew that I needed to work out to get better health but I needed extra push. I would confess: it was easier and more enjoyable to watch TV or reading than went to the gym. I needed extra push to get my butt moving.

So, I ended up with a 6 months training program with 3 days per week which costed around $1000 in total.  I requested a female trainer because I thought a woman would more likely understand my concern and could relate to my health issues more than a male trainer.

First month – Not too bad

Well, I survived the first few workouts with only few scratches.  My trainer was fabulous. We discovered and bonded over our caffeine addiction, travel itches and curly hair maintenance. She gave me a lot of good work-out tips as well as better drinking habit. I sort of drank coffee as substitute for water. I called it my coffee flavored water. More on the caffeine, less on the water. My trainer gave me a lecture on this habit but she was sympathetic because she had the same love for the bitter and highly addictive beverage.  Caffeine, thy name is addiction.

Yep, I made the right call. The male trainer would probably be more of an eye candy but it was a woman that could really help me get better health. That is another advice that I would give: if you need a trainer, then go with the one who you can be comfortable with. The relationship between trainer and trainee is quite intimated, so you may get a better result and more enjoyable workout if you are comfortable and relatable with your trainer.

My trainer recommended that I focused on building my muscles to gain more body strengths, so I did a lot of weight lifting exercises. After 3 weeks, I stepped on the scale, and the result was a 10 lbs loss. I wasn’t surprise because I knew that there was a good chance that I could gain weight due to muscle gain.

Second month – Muscle pains

I was a bit more energetic as I got more comfortable with the work-out techniques and routine. However, my body pain and ache were getting worst.   My muscles cramped up badly that my trainer had to give me mini massage during one of the work out session.  It was tough, but I hung in there with the hope that I could improve my health. After 2 months of continuous work out, I didn’t lose any more weight and my body ache and pain continued. My trainer was shocked and concerned because I worked out 3 times per week for 1 hour each time and yet there was no weight loss and eased of muscle cramped.  I could lift some weights and gained a bit more stamina on the treadmill but there was not much else to show.

Third month – Unexpected discovery

It was quarter end reporting time, and I had to put in longer hours at work. As a result, I missed a few work out sessions. My trainer (aka: caffeine sister) was understanding and accommodating. She moved my session to later time even though I gave her notice just couple hours in advance. Yep, I got a good one. I was adamant that I continued on the healthy workout routine, so I did yoga after work at home when I couldn’t make it to the gym.

That was when I made an unexpected discovery; my muscle ache went away when I didn’t go into the gym for a week.  As soon as I hit the gym mat, muscle cramped up and ached again. My massage therapist could tell when I went to the gym because she always got my call begging for a relieve session.   Wait a minutes, I just doubled my spending. I had to pay for the gym and then massage therapist? What was the reason for me to hit the gym mat in the first place? Ah! Yes, to make my body pain and ache go away. Hum… this wasn’t meeting my objective at all.

I stepped on the scale and I lost 5 lbs only? My trainer couldn’t figure out what went wrong because there was no change to my eating habit or any other factor.

Fourth month – There was a little thing called fate

Do you believe in fate? I didn’t and then fate gave me a little kick to prove me wrong. As painful as it was, I recommitted to my exercise training regime after my workload slowed down because I was determined to get healthier. Came hell or high water, I would get healthier.  Then, in a training session, I noticed that my trainer was somewhat off.  Normally, she was a chatter box and very cheerful, but that day she totally gave off the zombie vibe.

Thinking that she didn’t have enough caffeine injection for the day, I asked if she was o.k. Grumpily, she told me that she was on a cleanse program to deal with her stomach pain issue with a nutritionist who specialized in gut bacteria named Ariell. What? We had more in common than I thought. It turned out, we both experience similar stomach pain symptoms so she gave me Ariell’s contact information. Well, you know the rest of my cleansing story.

One of the initial down side of the 6 months cleaning program was it could drain your energy due to lack of carbohydrate and sugar. Yep, we need the little something…something to make our body energy and start moving.  Due to my lack of energy, I couldn’t keep up the regular work-out routine. I was quite concern with this and brought it up with Ariell.

Surprisingly, she said that while exercising was healthy thing to do, I shouldn’t do excessive weight training. She came to this conclusion after reviewing my blood test results.  I have a health condition that will limit my muscle build. For someone who has my health condition, it would be more beneficial to do repetitive motion exercises while weight training would do zero for my health.  Instead, Ariell suggested that I walked regularly to get my heart rate pumping better.

Well, you know the result of my 6 month cleansing. I have gotten much healthier and I lost weights. I was so jazzed that I no longer have to endure gym smell and the sweat. Yes, we can’t forget about the unattractive sweat.

Fifth month – Parted way

By the fifth month, I was already doing well with the cleansing program and saw good health results. With just my tiny dumbbell and YouTube yoga videos, I was feeling much better. I didn’t sweat excessively and my massage therapist stopped getting my phone calls. I didn’t see a reason for me to continue to hit the gym mat when I found a more enjoyable way to regain my health. I spoke to my trainer/caffeine sister and she understood. Having been on the cleanse program, she knew that I didn’t have the sugar and carbohydrate in my body to give me the fuse for gym workout.

In all honesty, I always disliked the gym and workout, but I hung in there for health improvement reason.   Now, I no longer need to do so to get my health back.

Would I do it again?

Most likely, no! I learned some useful information during my time at the gym that I still use but that knowledge certainly did not cost to $1000. On top of that, I didn’t enjoy the fact that I had to make time to go to the gym after work. It felt like a chore to me instead of enjoyment. All the eye candies and drool worthy abs in the neighborhood couldn’t change my mind about the cost of gym membership, the smell (oh…the smell), muscle cramps and the time commitment.

I find that working out at home suits me best. It is much more enjoyable to take a walk with Karen and talk about all kinds of thing even when the little monster tags along.  Seriously, try it. I would venture a bet that you may find it is far more enjoyable to have a walk with someone you can share interest and have a conversation with than sweating your butt off in a gym. Hot guys or not, I make my choice of exercise.

Before I leave you to your thoughts, I like to share a few things that I learned from my gym venture:

  • Find the work-out method that work best for you and your existing health conditions. While weight training maybe the best exercise for most people, it does nothing for me due to my health condition. So, I choose to do thing that works best for my health and it doesn’t include a gym.
  • Be comfortable in your own skin. Be healthy and happy in whatever body shape you are in and love it. I recognize that we North Americans have an obsession with being skinny but you should be happy and comfortable in the shape that you are in. I am all for individuality and celebrating the diversity in all of us. Don’t conform and be unhappy. Be different and happy!
  • Stick to your objective and don’t give in to sale pitch. I know of a few of these gym sale pitch stories and I won’t bore you with them. All I want to say is: spend your money wisely. If a personal trainer is what you need to get healthy than by all mean do it. But don’t let anyone pressure you into buying something you don’t want. And choose a trainer that you are comfortable with. Eye candies are good to look at but they may not help you get healthier.
  • Listen to your body. You know your body best. I didn’t listen to my muscle cramps and pains at the gym, but you bet that I learn my lesson.

At the end of it all, I don’t regret hitting the gym mat or paying for the personal trainer, but I would not do it again. I spent $1,000 and a lot of sweats (literally) and it did zero to improve my health.  Staying active and healthy is a big part of my happy and blissful life philosophy and I will continue to do so. But I will do what is right for my health which is walking, yoga and chasing after my niece. Yes, you betcha it is an exercise.

How about your gym experience? I would love to hear about it!

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Food irradiation – 4 things you should know before buying your grocery this week
Food & RecipeYour Health

Food irradiation – 4 things you should know before buying your grocery this week

by Helen

Health Canada approves sale of irradiated ground beef, says can reduce bacteria. What is this? Are they thinking of shooting laser into these poor cows?  Yuk! There went my idea of having a juicy Portobello ground beef burger. Have scientists who work for Health Canada collectively loss their minds? That is the only explanation for their approval allowing food producers and processors to irradiate our foods? Totally weirded out by this headline, I clicked on the link and read the article.

It turned out, Health Canada deemed food irradiation as a safe and effective treatment to reduce harmful bacteria in ground beef after they conducted some experiments. As a defense for their decision, Health Canada sited that the US has been permitting the irradiation of ground beef products since 1999.  Yes, just because our neighbours are ok with “nuked” meat, doesn’t mean that we do too? Ah, yes our beef and cattle industry wants Canadians to eat irradiated beefs also.  Canada’s beef cattle industry also has been pestering the Canadian government to approve ground beef irradiation since 1998, and the government finally gave into industry lobbyists.

To my shock and horror, I learned that irradiation has used in Canada to treat potatoes, onions, wheat, flour, spices and some seasonings. Say what? So, I have been digesting irradiated foods for years? What is irradiated foods anyway?

What is food irradiation?

If you read my post on my 10 years food journey, you know that I have a sort of love, hate and obsession relationship with foods and I am very careful about what I put into my body. After all, my physical health is largely depending on what I eat, so I have developed a habit of reading everything concern foods.  In a nutshell, irradiation (also known as cold pasteurizing) is the process of exposing food to a controlled amount of energy called ‘ionizing radiation’. The process is completed by using one of three different types of radiation: X-rays, Gamma rays, or electron beam radiation ionizing. Just so we are clear on this, an eruption of x-ray is comparable to 30 chest x-rays. Jesus! That is not a good image.  Depending on the food, irradiation could be used to:

  1. Kill bacteria that cause illness or food spoilage
  2. Control insect or parasite infestation
  3. Slow down the ripening or sprouting of fresh fruits and vegetables
  4.  To increase shelf life of foods

It sounds a tiny bit scary (truth be told, I was scary out of my wits when I learned that they used x-ray and electron beam radiation on my foods) but the scientist claims that irradiation is safe for human consumption. I dug a bit deeper to understand exactly how the process of food irradiation worked. It is a bit graphic, but stay with me on this.

Imaging that you passing your food through a giant machine that continuously sends out low doses of ionizing radiation (most typically use is gamma rays) and will kill off unwanted organisms. The process is enough though to disrupt the DNA and kill insects and bacteria that can make people ill without heating or cooking the food that passing thru. Much like heating up your food in microwave, the irradiation energy should disappear from the food immediately and the food doesn’t become radioactive. Do you get the visual yet? I don’t use a microwave to heat my foods because I have done research into the long term health implications of using a microwave consistently. Let’s just say that I dropped my microware in the nearest dumpster. I will write an article on this topic. Promise!

Back to irradiation, the scientists claim this is done in the name of food prevention and with good intention. Much like GMO foods, it all started with good intention but as we know, human just can’t help themselves when it comes to messing with nature.

Exactly which foods are most commonly irradiated?

Jesus! I sweated a bucket when I learned about the food irradiation process. I have a well-found fear for all things that sound remotely close to radiation because my dad die of liver cancer then my mother’s sisters (my aunts) were diagnosed and treated for breast cancer. Genetic is my dead trap! I inherit the cancer DNA genes from both mother and father families. You can appreciate my fear of radiation. Though the government agencies (Health Canada and FDA) both emphasize that food irradiation is safe for human consumption, there are a lot of unanswered questions and we will get to those. Now, I am dying to see what types of food that have been irradiated. Here is the list of “nuked” foods.

For Canadians, here is the list of permitted irradiated foods:

  • Potatoes – To slow down sprouting during storage
  • Onions  – To inhibit sprouting during storage
  • Wheat, flour, whole wheat flour  – To control insect infestation in stored food
  • Whole or ground spices and dehydrated seasoning preparations  – To reduce microbial load
  • Fresh raw ground beef  – To reduce microbial load, including pathogens
  • Frozen raw ground beef – To reduce microbial load, including pathogens

 

For my America neighbours (and shopping playground), the list is a bit longer:

  • Beef and Pork. Cow and pig, you would be the most likely target because you are so popular.
  • Crustaceans (e.g., lobster, shrimp, and crab). What? Poor delicious and succulent lobsters and craps. Inhuman treatment of my delicious seafood.
  • Fresh Fruits and Vegetables. Peach and berries! Good bye, it was good while it lasted.
  • Lettuce and Spinach. My favourite leafy green? These people are heartless.
  • Poultry. Popularity is deadly, chicken!
  • Seeds for Sprouting (e.g., for alfalfa sprouts). Seriously?
  • Shell Eggs. Well, if the chicken is targeted so should you.
  • Shellfish – Molluscan (e.g., oysters, clams, mussels, and scallops). I can’t take this anymore. I can live with meat irradiation but seafood? This is war!
  • Spices and Seasonings. I have nothing left to say!

I am emotionally drained now! Seafood, fruit and leafy spinach, these people are just mean. The bad news doesn’t end here, I have more. There is a long list of foods that are currently being reviewed and approved for irradiation in Canada. The soon-to-be irradiated foods included: mangoes, poultry, shrimp and prawns. Yep, it is very sad news for me because I love mangoes and seafood. I may have to cross them off my list or buy organic from now on. My American neighbours, the FDA also has a long waiting list of foods being reviewed for irradiation approval. The list is growing, people!

 The big question, is it safe?

As I mentioned, Health Canada and FDA both support food irradiation as safe food preventive measure.  These agencies also approved and supported of GMO foods, just a reminder for you. Not surprisingly, many consumer groups have opposing views. A study conducted by Center for Food Safety that shown the food irradiation process can destroy the vitamins and ruin the flavour, odour, appearance and texture of food. Here we go again! It is the tomatoes story all over again. Please see my post on GMO food and prepare to feel really bad for what has been done to tomatoes in the name of increasing food yield. In addition, there was a study conducted by feeding rats the irradiated foods. The study concluded that long term digestion of irradiated carrots could lead to “depressed growth rate”.  To toped it off, I found a study indicated that there was a tendency for lower body weights in both sexes of rats receiving 1.0 and 3.0% irradiated thaumatin (which was a sugar alternative). Wow! Is this the cause of my muffin top? Now I definitely have a bone to pick with irradiated food producers and processors.

Last but not least, the Cancer Prevention Coalition reported 1/3 of studies examining genetic damage caused by irradiated food show substantive genetic damage to cells, human and animal.  Ok, so my paranoias may be well founded. When I was in grade 7, I had a class trip to nuclear power station after learning clean power of nuclear energy.  I was really interested in how they could generate power from the splitting of uranium atom (yes, I am a geek) until the scientists who worked in the power station show us the downside of unsafe nuclear power and the lasting damages to human bodies after the exposure to radiations.  He showed us pictures of Chernobyl and those images stayed with me since 7 grade. Since then, I wholeheartedly support any amount of spending my city needs to maintain the highest safety quality standard for the nuclear power station. You can’t ever be too careful where nuclear is concerned.

And yet, the process of food irradiation is subjecting our foods thru the same radiation exposure process, and we think this is safe? Really? The scientists who work for Health Canada and FDA may test the result of 10lbs on beef consumption and for 1 year period, and the result may be fine. It is safe for human consumption for that quantify and time frame, but what will happen if someone eat 15 lbs? 20lbs? and for 5 years or 10 years? Would it still be safe then?

I have been using various spices in my cooking every day. That’s almost 15 years of cooking for me and 15 years of irradiated spices consumption, how many lbs of spices have I consumed? Am I still safe? There is no definitive answer on these questions and it is the role of our government agencies to do their due diligent and inform the general public of accurate time frame and quantity that safe for consume.

My last point on this subject is longevity. We want to be healthy and live longer. It is well-known that Japanese live longer others. Do you know other countries that are on the top 10 list for life longevities? The other winners of life longevities are: Hong Kong, Singapore and Macao. Japan, Macao, Singapore and Hong Kong are all located in Asia. They all have one thing in common: healthy diet and very little use of food irradiation. As the matter of fact, Japan only allows small percentage of potato to be irradiated and the Japanese kicked up a storm about it. After Fukushima  incident, I would venture that the Japanese wouldn’t likely buy irradiated potatoes ever again.

How can I tell if food is irradiated?

Well, you bet that I will look into how to identify irradiated foods. With all these unanswered questions, I am certain that I won’t risk my health and my chance of getting cancer by digesting irradiated foods. So there is good news. In Canada and US, all foods that contained 10% of irradiated foods must be labeled to inform the consumers.  Below are the symbols that will tell you if the food is irradiated.

Canadian Sign

US sign

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, if you don’t want to consume irradiated foods, be sure not to purchase foods with these labels. Radiation is the most feared word to me because I always associated this word with cancer which I genetically inherit from both of my parent’s DNA.  Also, those Chernobyl images made a lasting impact to my fear of radiation exposure. There is one silver lining; organic produces are not subjected to irradiation because this is a requirement of organic certification. But as I mentioned in my GMO post, organic foods are typically more costly so it is depending on your affordability. But only you would know what is best for you and your family.  For me, I would avoid foods that are irradiated for reason that I mentioned. Truth be told, I don’t even have a microwave.

The other side of the debate

I am a balanced person, so I will also tell you the good stuffs. There is a case to be made for food irradiation. It reduces spoilage, increase shelf life, and kills unwanted bacteria. For certain part of the world, irradiated foods could help feed more people and save lives. Similar to the GMO food argument, the intention for food irradiation is good. The trouble is we, human never know where to stop. A lot of idea started with good intention and ended very badly. There are just too many examples to count.

Lastly, what trouble me the most is I haven’t been able to find any conclusive evidence that food irradiation is safe after all researches that I read. What I found interesting is the main reason for ground beef irradiation is to prevent bacteria that contaminated the meats because the processing plants are generally filthy. Basically, the ground beef may not need to be irradiated if food processing plants follow the regulation and keep clean. But instead of enforcing the laws to ensure the food processors follow the rules, the government agencies decide to “nuke” the foods instead. I like to post a question to you: What would you do after learning about irradiated foods? Would you still purchase them? Would you raise your concerns (if you have any) to your government?

Share your thoughts with me.

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Cohabitating with friend – Is the saving worth the headache
HousingYour Relationship

Cohabitating with friend – Is the saving worth the headache

by Helen

As cost of housing rockets in densely packed metropolitan, more people are looking to cohabiting with family or friends.  In North American society, it has been a trend for children to leave the nest,  but in the recent year, the trend has been on a reserved as more and more young people move back home with their parents because they can’t find work, get laid off or just go thru life event. I also made the same decision. Yep! I move in with my family.

I am still reeling from the shock of my decision. I made the decision to move in with my family based on pure economic motive. Coincidentally, after I made this decision I went through one of the harder experiences in my life and is now without a job. Though I was very reluctant at first, I soon realize that there are a lot of benefits of living with my family. Honestly, I didn’t come to this decision easily. It took a look of thinking, debating, dreading and quite frankly kicking myself in the back side before I gave into logic and took the plunge.

Dream to reality

I brought a new built 2 bedrooms condo and I moved into my condo almost a year ago. Check out my post on how I brought this townhouse. After waiting for 3 years, my condo was built. I was ecstatic when I got the key from my builder. I couldn’t wait to deck out my cozy home with my hobo gypsy decor. The plan was for my mom and me to live in this condo.  But on the date of moving,  her highness informed me that she wanted to move in with Karen because she wanted to spend more time with her precious and only grandchild. WHAT? I immediately talked to Karen and then it was Karen’s turn to collapse and threaten to move in with me. Well, she didn’t see that one coming.

After much discussion, we couldn’t change our mother’s mind. Swallowing our frustration, we decided that I would continue to live in the townhouse while my mother moved in with Karen. My brother in law (Karen’s hubby) was happy about his because he has great relationship with my mom. Seriously, I sometime think that he is her child, not us.

This arrangement worked out well for me initially. I was living on my own and totally loving my space. But I also realize that the 1,000 square feet townhouse was too big for me to take care off. The mortgage payment was sizable and swallowed up 1/3 of my net income which meant I had to reduce a lot of variable expenses to balance my budget. One of my biggest sacrifice was cutting down on vacation expense. This was a stab to my heart because I LOVE travels. Is this 1,000 square foot home a worthwhile trade-off for my love of travel?  I wrestled with the decision.

Questions and Answers

One faithful Saturday morning, I looked at my messy townhouse, mentally made notes of what I had to clean, started to dread spending my precious weekend time cleaning the space that I didn’t even use (literally I was only using half of the property), and dreamed about the Japan-Korea vacation that I couldn’t afford this year. I was also going thru a rough time at work. The toxic corporate environment was getting to me and impacted my mental and physical health in a big way.  But I just couldn’t quit my job because I had a mortgage to pay. Unhappy at my job, yet couldn’t walk away because I needed the income to pay for a house that was too big for me.

That was when I had my DOH moment. I realized I didn’t need to have 1,000 square feet with 2 bedrooms when I worked long hours and wanted to travel more. Right there and then, I made the decision to downside and made drastic changes to get my life back on the happy and blissful track. There were couple of options that available to me:

  • Rent out my townhouse and then rent a small bachelor for myself.
  • Rent out my townhouse then move into Karen’s basement
  • Rent out my townhouse then move into with a friend

I didn’t want to sell my house because I knew that property in my area would continue to increase. If I have a tenant to pay the mortgage for me, I could gain more in equity when I decide to sell eventually.  Time to sharpen my pencil and do the math! All 3 options would reduce my monthly housing cost substantially because I could easily rent my townhouse for ~$2000 per month which would give a $500 surplus ($2000 rent income – $1200 mortgage payment – $300 maintenance fee = $500 surplus). It is a new build townhouse and the property tax paid 2 years in advance, thus I won’t have to pay property tax in the next 2 years. Nice investment! Out of all three options, moving in with Karen was the most logical choice because:

  • Free rent which will reduce financial burden for me. To many of you, this may sound strange but, in my family, (yes, Karen’s hubby included) we willing to pool resource and share our spaces with each other. This option will allow me to take a lesser paid but also less demanding job while getting start on my dream of building this blog to provide knowledge supporting and empowering women.  And I can travel again. Japan and Korea, here I come. My sashimi, budae jjigae, bibimbap food fantasy excursion will soon be a reality!
  • Living in same house will make it easier for Karen and I to collaborate on this blog

Decisions and Actions

It was then my turn to sit Karen down and told her my decision. She didn’t collapse to my surprise, instead she came to the same conclusion on her own and was afraid to bring it up to me. She knew that I needed to make a change in my life direction because I wasn’t happy with the ways things were. My brother in law was also supportive of my decision much to my surprise. It is very comforting and encouraging to have family who will support you when you are going thru a tough time.

I love my family and you can probably tell that we are a very close knit one. But even as close and caring as we are to each other, there need to be rules and boundaries to help the entire family function effectively, and reduce stress for everyone. So, we had a frank and honest discussion as a family about this new living arrangement. 4 big rules that we agreed on were:

  • Set up basic ground rule such as babysitting availability. As much as I love my little monster, I need my space from time to time and they can’t just dump her on me. Love you, baby!
  • Everyone understood that the basement is my space. That means, they will have to knock and ask for my permission before enter. I keep my private spaces like bedrooms and apartments off-limits to them but I make the exception for my niece. The little monster has my permission to come and go as she pleases
  • Openly discuss who would take care of chores, cooking, and shopping. We all agreed that we would function as separate household meaning they will do their cooking and I do my. I make one exception for Karen’s lunch. I make her lunch because we both eat the same type of food
  • Discuss rent payment. For now, I won’t have to pay rent until I can find a new job

Some tips

I got to say, it is not as bad as I thought. I have been living with my family for couple of months and things are working well. Aside from the fact that we are a close knit and supportive family, open communication really helps to harmonize the family interaction. Couple of thoughts that I want to leave with you if you consider moving in with family or friend:

  • Set up basic ground rule upfront. Be transparent and honest about what you want. Don’t try to sugar coast because you will likely end up in conflict later on
  • Openly discuss who would take care of chores. Proactive discussion will ensure that everyone understand and accept their role and contribution in the living arrangement thus avoid conflict or unexpected issue in the future
  • The big M word, Money. It is important to have honest discussion about rent even with your family. Don’t make assumption. Discuss and confirm that everyone agree on an outcome. You don’t want to lose family relationship over money.
  • Pick your battles. Annoyances can arise when living with family. Someone may have messy habits or pet peeve that annoys you. For me, my dear mother’s habit of chewing with her mouth opens. Seriously, that sound can drive me nut. Karen can’t stand it either. But don’t fight over these small things. Pick the battles worth fighting for. Learn patience and swallow the petty stuff; invest in the battles that really matter. Like my mother’s constant nagging about me having a kid and get married. I took my stance on this battle. As of now, mom is zero and I am up 1. HAH!
  • Have on going dialogs to make sure everyone is still happy with the living arrangement and make adjustment as needed.

Initially, I found it challenging to live under the same roof with my family, but this experience seems to strengthen my family bond even more. It is a nice feeling to know that I have people whom I can count on to help me thru life’s rough patches. How about you? Are you consider moving in with family and friend? Write to me about your experience.

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6 simple steps to create a personal budget – Part 2
Personal Finance

6 simple steps to create a personal budget – Part 2

by Helen

If you catch Part 1 of this post, you know that it took me a long while to create my personal budget. And yes, there is no shame in admitting my shortfall. I was “the” finance girl who couldn’t create her budget even though she balanced business budgets for living. But at long last, I arrived! I created my personal budget with 6 simple and somewhat painful steps. As always, it was the last step that tripped me up. I couldn’t balance the book! Darn it! I am a finance girl and I couldn’t make the numbers work!

So after downing 3 glasses of wine and a 5 minutes talk with Karen, I learnt the secret to balance the book from the budget hawk: “look for ways to reduce the fixed cost while mercilessly slash the variable expenses”. You can’t cut your fixed cost complete because you need these essential services and things like food and shelter. But there may be way to reduce the fixed costs. For example, one of my fixed cost is home internet service because I work from home sometime, thus I need the internet connection to log into my company’s network. I need my job to earn a living, so it is a fixed cost. If I go with one of the big telecom service provider, it would cost me $100 per month, so I find an alternative provider who can provide the same service yet only cost $80 per month. Phew! I save $20 per month and that’s $240 per year. That’s a win because every penny count. With variable expense, you can be more merciless. Review every single variable expense that you have and constantly ask yourself:

  1. Do I really need this?
  2. If yes, is there a way I can reduce this expense by 50% or more?

Applying Karen, aka the budget hawk’s mantra I re-worked my monthly variable costs. I didn’t want to touch my fixed costs yet because I thought it could be hard to do, so I chose the easy way out by building up my confident with small variable expense reduction wins. I asked myself 2 questions to assess the true cost of each variable expense:

  1. Do I want this expense more than saving for retirement?
  2. Is there a way I can reduce this expense by 50% or more?

First Cut

So let’s take my coffee drinking habit for example, it is one of my variable expense. On average, I drank 2 cups a day and worked 5 days per week with 3 weeks vacations.  A Starbucks Grande Americano costs CAD $3.10, so annually Starbucks habit cost me $1,395 ($3.1 *2* 225). WOW! Coffee is expensive.

  1. Do I want this expense more than saving for retirement? Yes, yes and yes. Finance people “MUST” have coffee. Could you imagine working without coffee during the quarter end reporting time?  Life will end. I must have coffee! It is a Must not a nice to have!
  2. Is there a way I can reduce this expense by 50% or more? Reluctantly, yes. There are 2 ways. If I get a medium coffee from the café around the corner, it will cost me CAD$2.5. Now, let’s do the MATH ($3.1 – $2.5 = $0.6), I would save 6 cents per cup. So, ($0.6 * 2 * 225 days= $270), this means, I could save $270 per year if I buy my coffee from the café instead of Starbuck. $ 270 saving per year is not bad, but if I buy the coffee and make it at home, I would save even more. My annual coffee cost went down to $150, so a saving of $1,240 ($1,395 – $150)

I won’t lie. It was hard work to honestly assess and account for every dollar that I spent and saved, but I kept reminding myself that I want to retired at 55 (#Freedom55 here I come!) and I needed at least $5,000 in savings to set aside preparing for the unexpected. Karen probably will tell you about the visual goal that she had on her wall. I must admit, visualization was useful and it helped me. But I refused to stoop down to her level, so I kept a reminder in my wallet. Hah! Glad to say that I was able to balance my book, but to achieve my goal, I had to make some hard sacrifices:

  • Only dine out twice per month with a set meal budget
  • Make my own coffee and lunch for work instead of buy them. MAJOR cost savers! Seriously!
  • Only will spend $1,000 on clothing and shoes per year. There is a way to dress professionally with a set budge. I will write a post on the “fashion shopping” topic
  • Only spend $2,000 on vacation/travel per year. There is also a way to cut travel cost too
  • And few more things…

I still able to maintain my lifestyle, but I have to make major adjustments. I know that:

  • It is possible to have it all, but you need to look for creative ways to make your ends meet. It is easier to walk to Starbuck to buy that Grande Americano than budget for an additional 10 minutes of your morning to make the cup of coffee, but just this change in spending behaviour saved me $1,395. To me, it worth the effort
  • Stop procrastinating! The MATH was not hard, and honestly, I always knew what I had to do to balance the book. But I just didn’t want to give up my habits, the convenience, and the little things that I enjoyed. It took many glasses of wine, Karen nagging in my ears, visualization and the fear that I won’t be able to retire to wake me up and get me moving. So, don’t wait till it is too late
  • Trade-off, what is more important to you? Trade-off is a fact of life. To be able to retire at 55, I needed to improve on retirement savings. I don’t want to give up all my enjoyments, my little bliss, so I have to find creative solutions. My trade-off is researching time. Time that I could spend watching my favourite TV shows, reading a book or doing something else. Instead, I spent the time research on the internet or talked to people to find ways to spend less. Again, it is easy to fall into habits, but you need to be honest with yourself and see if it is worth for you.

Reflecting, the second step to control impulse purchase

I promise this is the last thing that I will talk about. Okay, I sort of omitted the truth a little, didn’t want to scare you off. Yes, it only took 6 steps to create the budget, but then the actual hard works begun because creating the budget was just half of the battle. The budget is only useful if you stay commit to it. This visualization exercise alone did not help me to stay committed to my goal because I had impulse purchase issue. I used to buy all sort of things on impulse because I was stressed out or something was troubling me. I did another exercise to reign in my impulse purchase beast. This exercise is about reflecting on your action.  Every time I made a purchase (impulse or not), I would ask myself:

  • Do I truly need this item?
  • And why did I buy it?

It is a tidiest exercise, but the key is repetition and commitment. The more you ask yourself and make your mind questions your impulse purchase the more likely you won’t do it again. It took 3 months of visualization and reflection practise to get me to create my budget and stick to it.

Now I am a believer and even the budget is not tough. Anyone can do it. The hardest part is to stay motivate and committed. Now, if you don’t have an overbearing, nosy and overly protective older sister like Karen, there are some tips that I would recommend to keep you stay on track:

  • Try to engage all your senses when you visualize. The more immersive and realistic you can make your visualization, the better it will work. If you’re visualizing a peaceful day on the beach, picture the gentle breeze fanning on your face, the smell of the ocean, the feel of hot sand warming your feet. Now, do you feel like you are there?
  • Make it a habit. Practice makes perfect. Visualization works better the more you try it. Include it in your morning or night routine. Your happy picture is a good reminder. Keep that picture on a spot where you can see it in the morning and before you go to bed. It will help to motivate you
  • Involve your family or friend. Visualization can be a great exercise. I brainstormed the family vacation plan with my 5-year-old niece and Karen on the cartoon world map because I want to keep the feeling of joyful and excitement in my mind when I have to create a budget to fund my part in the family vacation

For a financial analyst who aspires to be free-spirit gypsy traveler, the personal budget exercised was a tough and excruciating process. But I am glad that I did it and I stick to it. Sometime you have to give up something to get what you truly want. Like everything in life, there is always a trade-off. I come to accept home-made coffee instead of a convenient of a Starbuck Grande Americano. And I learn to enjoy my caffeine addiction in a different way while saving myself a small change every year that will help me to get a bit close to my #Freedom55 dream.   I hope you find this post useful. How is your personal budget journey progressing?

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